I have spoken with a lot of people who talk about being clinically depressed and what’s life is like for them. Those stories are heartbreaking especially since I know firsthand how they feel and what they are going through. It’s this burden that completely hangs over you, one that is hard to fight or look over especially since you have no answer for it. But lately I have been thinking about a different type of depression, one that’s had me stuck, and feeling completely out of control over my own life. Lately I have been dealing with “Reality” and let me tell you when reality is not what we dream about; it can be sickening and can be very, very dangerous. It’s also a reason; I believe we are losing so many amazing young people to suicide. People can open their eyes every day and still feel like they have nothing to look forward to. You can think that person has everything in the world but in reality it can be other things people may feel down and empty about. When things don’t go your way, you feel a sense of emptiness that you sometimes can’t explain.
“Sometimes our reality is not we what dream about”
Depression from reality is not being where you would like to in life, financially, career-wise or even in love, those things, amongst others. I have known others whose fell in a deep depression from losing someone close to them but one thing I have grown to love about that faze in life is the beauty of survival, strength, humility that you learn. One thing that does bother me is struggle, struggle really don’t scare me, what scares me is complacent and the feeling of struggle. Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself if I’m feeling the effects of struggle to much. I need to reassess my thoughts on what I’m going through.
I come to realize that some time ago I stopped growing through the struggle and decided it was my ending and I need it to not be my ending but become a new beginning. I started to remind myself that every struggle brings a new season in my life. I have to prepare my mind to embrace it. One thing we can learn from ourselves if we also suffer from depression and even anxiety, is everyday aim for wholeness, happiness, aim to understand the unknown and even if you don’t get the answer you want just know you will eventually get the answer you deserve so keep going.