Depression Doesn’t Come With an On/Off Switch

socialpic“I’m so sorry for not being in the moment and seeming like I am not interested but unfortunately depression doesn’t comedepression, anxiety, happiness, forgivenesswith an on and off switch.” This is what I really want to say to people who send me through the frustrations of trying to example to them why I don’t feel well. Sometimes it’s just one of those things you can not example. Unfortunately depression is one of those things where you just don’t know when those feelings will hit you. I can wake up and feel refreshed and start my day off great and out of nowhere things change. I can be having some amazing news come through for my career but still feel alone, empty and like life is not moving along. For a long time I spent so much time apologizing for this struggle and the frustration it would cause others. Over the last year I’ve stopped apologizing, I’ve stopped babysitting people’s feelings about mental illness and honestly it’s been such a relief. I know it may sound selfish but when you are at a state of depression and confusion trying to hold on with every bit of hope you have the last thing you need is someone making you feel worse because today of all day’s I can’t give you what you want. I’ve always felt like I’m in a constant battle with my thoughts everyday, I don’t like to be in a constant battle with others as well. I’ve learned to live openly about depression because I was tired of hiding the fact that I just didn’t feel well and really needed to get it off my mind.