Citalopram is the generic form of the brand-name antidepressant Celexa, which is a used to treat depression and anxiety disorders.
About 2 years ago I started Celexa for the first time for Social Anxiety and Clinical Depression. I remember that moment clearly, I somehow found myself in a daze, I felt like a train wreck waiting to crash. I just couldn’t seem to grasp my day. I didn’t want to be bothered and I was spending the day with no energy and what felt like no direction.
The thing with Mental Illness is that it can make you vulnerable, because you are trying your best to feel, whatever feeling you need to get through the moment and it can be tough to not understand why you can not just be content and calm.
The first time I went to the doctor about the medicine, I remember frankly how the black male doctor stated to me he didn’t believe in those medicines but he would let the therapist in their office make the decision. Here I was this vulnerable young girl, on brick of tears trying to explain how tough it is not understanding what’s going on and another person making me feel like, they just don’t understand. Shortly afterwards with the new therapist I was set for my first try of meds, my second try of counseling and 3 months later my days are better and I was told to phase the medicine out because I would be ok.
I’ve come across so many individuals with opinions on anti-depressants and I love to hear people experiences some good, some bad. Just like life things turn out different for everyone. I decided this time that life with medicine may just be better. When I decided to go back on the medicine for a minute I thought I fell. I thought to myself, what am I doing wrong in life here. 3 weeks in and I am reminded of why I decided to take the step for myself again.
The medicine for me isn’t an excuse, it’s freedom. It helps me to remember that the universe is more forgiving then we are to ourselves
Mental illness is not a cold, where you take medicine a couple of days and you are great, everyday is a struggle, the other day was a struggle but today has been ok. Some days are great and others, well I made it through and I am ok with that, things will be ok. I remember 3 weeks ago my first day taking the medicine again, I woke up with an extreme burst of energy, I think it was because I knew what was coming & what to look forward to, afterwards I had to switch my schedule of when to take it a couple of times to really find the perfect time for me and once it was in my blood, I can feel the difference in my shoulders, I don’t feel as if a big weight is on me. I do not feel I need to make another change in order to be happy, I am here, I am present and that's what my days are like with Celexa for the most part. I do still have days full of anxiety, days where I want to get in bad and just cancel the day. They aren't going anywhere but this time I don't beat myself up about it, my mind is at peace.
Celexa for me is about being, in the moment and apart of the moment. No constant fear of moving forward. Everyday I get to start fresh, I get to shrift through things without feeling like I am spinning out of control.
Second time around so far so good!
1. Do you take anti-depressants what has been your experience so far?
2. What is the biggest change you found in yourself?