At the beginning of the year I kind of got demanding with God. I am getting close to turning 30 in December and I have spent most of my time this year demanding God to let my finances be better, let my business be flourishing, let me find an awesome job, let me be on my way to moving back out on my own, I wanted to be in all these places and I made myself very clear to God. But, what happened was...
"I am bold, no fear inside,
Spread my wings, open my life
Like an Eagle, whose home is the sky
I'm gonna catch the wind, I'm gonna catch the wind."
Everything I feel is embodied in those lyrics by Bethel Music! Since August I have been focused on reconnecting with God and building an intimate relationship with him, getting to know him and his truth and find my identity in him. Since August everything I asked for he did the opposite.
It is a few weeks before my 30th birthday and I am almost done with my savings(Like nonexistent), my company is on the back-burner, my job hunt didn't work out and I am in a place of nowhere, as it seems. If I would have typed this a few months ago I would probably be angry and probably crying but today, I have not one fear in my body, nor am I upset that God said No to me. For the first time in my life I actually feel the freedom I needed from God to be able to move forward in life and I am enjoying seeing what he brings my life to be.
This morning I woke and I had no idea what would be on my agenda, as I have been praying for breakthrough on my career and the things that God is calling to my heart is so timely. When I use to hear people talk about "God's Time" I never knew what that felt like or what exactly that meant until I started asking God to show me. I noticed over the last couple of month's I've been at the right places, at the right time with the right people and it's been eye-opening and again perfect timing.
Today I am accepting the truth that I have stepped into, even if it's broken me down more than I ever expected. I am so excited to be living this journey and looking forward to all the truth God places over my life!
When God said No! & I was able to come to terms with that No about all these idea's and plans I had, I was able to step out of the way and get my pride out of his way (Which is the first time God has spoken to me), well the first time I understood. Now that my pride and plans are out of his way, the things that he is placing in my heart is beautiful, challenging and fulfilling!
I am so excited to have the freedom I now have.
Have God ever told you No? How did you handle it?