When I wrote my blog How Abstinence Renewed My Faith. I didn’t expect to receive questions about “purity” or compliments about how great it was that I wanted to offer my future husband purity. Sorry, but that wasn’t my goal with my blog post at all because my abstinence was about ME and I don’t believe that sexuality defines a woman.
I get it, and I know that I will receive some emails about what the bible says and Christian ideology about purity and sex, great thank you for the information you are giving again:) I really do appreciate people's passion for these topics!
Although I will wait till marriage and look forward to sharing that experience with my future husband, I never set out to allow my sexuality to be defined by men, my personal quest with abstinence is what lead me to God it wasn’t because I needed a man to think I’m pure.
I simply think this ideology is so dangerous! Women, young girls need to be taught that they are in control of their bodies, they are in control of their sexuality, it belongs to them, not a man husband or not.
My pureness isn’t tied to sex nor my body, my pureness is tied to my heart.
Abstinence is a beautiful thing and it’s shaped my relationship with God. Abstinence hasn’t been the easiest thing but the purest and most intimate expression for me and God. But, when you place “Christian” ideology into it, the journey no longer belongs to the woman. Somehow, we worship the idea that abstinence or celibacy is the way to a Christian man’s heart, the idea of worshipping the “good girl, clean image allows man-made, human rules to come into play. Women bodies are treated like sin and our worth is measured by our sex life, we've become to idolize women's body and not respect that the beauty of a woman's body and sexuality was created by God himself and I refuse to believe that my worth is determined by its use, I refuse to accept the only purity a Christian woman has to offer is through sex.
Being abstinence has allowed me the joy of discovering my power, beauty, and resilience as a woman.
This journey never was about religion, it never was celibacy, it never was about the pleasing of a human man but finding my strength as a woman and to owning what belongs to me, this body, this vagina, and this mind, becoming a woman of God isn’t determined by “purity” lessons from Christian men.
I read recently a Christian woman say that “Since becoming abstinence and asking God for forgiveness she spends less time naked and besides getting dressed and showering and how much she likes herself more.” This is the kind of scary nonsense women deal with when their abstinence is tied to the pleasing of “Godly men” the whole idea that your body, this beautiful gift from God is a sin that needs validation from men.
Abstinence is for you and it’s ok to understand the joy in loving yourself, tying your self-worth into abstinence gives away your full womanhood, that belongs in your hands and it's your responsibility to protect.
Abstinence doesn’t define me, it isn’t about religion it’s about my womanhood. Celibacy or abstinence is a beautiful thing.
Don't get me wrong I respect celibacy and obviously abstinence but I respect safe practice, knowledge and understanding in its purest form. Your identity is in God let it rest there. Let your focus be growing into the kind of woman God is calling you to be, we belong to him first, the most purest, healthiest form of relationship you will have will be with God and that's the pure beauty needed walking down the aisle.