Over the last two months, I’ve had so much revelation about things in my life that has held me back from being where I should be at this point. Those revelations have come from God and they always come at the right time.
Today I was having a conversation with my best friend and I am speaking with her about what I’ve learned about myself over the course of this freedom journey I am on #chasinggod and I didn’t even realize I was about to find clarity, in that very conversation about a topic that’s hindered me for a long time; being a follower.
I didn’t even realize that my lack of being a good follower was a problem, it never crossed my mind but I always thought I was on the right path (Always). I noticed lately how open I’ve been to just follow and being a part of something rather than leading it.
I’ve always being privileged enough to have lots of opportunities to lead and it’s always come naturally. I love to work and I always work hard either building my own things or the things I am a part of. I’ve been very lucky to move up quickly over the years and in pretty much anything that I do. Starting from High School, my first job at the movie theater after just being there for a few months I was giving more leadership opportunities, I immediately was managing the concession stand, counting down the draws at night, my managers trusted me to get things done and it’s pretty much been the same at every job and/or organization I become a part of since my first job at 15. I never minded stepping up and putting in the work. I am always taking roles that challenge me and move me higher.
This pretty much placed natural “leader” in my head and somehow, I forgot the best part of being a leader is learning to be a follower first. This issue has placed a big wall in front of me that was blocking me from growing, appreciating my skills and allowing others to grow.
When I started this journey of saying “YES” to God that meant I had to follow him, something that never crossed my mind. I am more of an “I got this” type of girl so learning to follow God and trust him to guide me has been hard. Recently, God has shown me how this lesson that I seem to kept failing was impacting my relationships, friendships, my career and even my relationship with God. The last two months has allowed me grow and be more accepting of following and being a part of a team to piece together the bigger picture. I was learning this through my actions and the situations that he's placed me in lately with a new set of eyes. God has been using different situations to expose my true skills to me and where they fit in everything that I do, he’s allowed me to care less about recognition and more about making a difference. God has switched my heart from seeking “what do I want to do” to “what do people need that I can offer.”
It amazes me what you learn about yourself when you let go of “Control.” I like leading because I like being in control, I like to have a say in the outcome but the more I rest in God and partner with him the more I learn that both qualities are important but following teaches you so much more about your strengths and boldness that in time builds a great leader, in order for me to grow in leaderhip I must grow in my ability to follow.