I have started this blog post over a couple of times, I wanted to explain myself and how I ended up where I am but truly I am tired of trying to explain why I left the church, it reeks of validation, something that I and my therapist are working through now. Why I am here is so loaded & complicated and layered but truly it has nothing to do with “church or God” it had every bit to do with healing. I am here, right where I am because I truly needed to heal.
Starting in December 2017 I began to search for more information about Non-traditional churches, I knew I was seeking more from my spiritual church experience but I honestly couldn’t put a word to it. I didn’t know what it was called. I just knew the feeling I was looking for. I started reading a little about Unitarian Universalist churches and with little knowledge and after a month removed from the church I parked in a church parking lot and just sat quietly not understanding what I was feeling at the moment. I reminded myself that I was still seeking the heart of God but at this moment in my life I needed something different. I walked into the building of Greater Nashville Unitarian Universalist and ever since that day my heart has grown a little more fonder of God’s love and people’s compassion. The Reverend and members of this church allowed a broken girl, with a small knowledge of religion and imperfect story to sit right next to them and create the sacred space she needed to truly connect with my God, what that looked like, what that feels like was on my terms. There was no place for guilt or shame but a place of freeness to explore religion and spirituality at my own pace. One of the greatest things that really connected me to Unitarian Universalist is the desire to create beauty in the world, there is no fighting religious wars, no arguing which God is right or wrong, there are no expectations but to love your neighbor, fight for your neighbor, look at your neighbor as a human being, deserving of kindness and love. It was a community of different spiritual beliefs. They fight for women’s rights, minorities, social justice, and immigrants. I was finally at home! The sermons aren’t about what I am doing wrong that’s going to take me to hell, they are about what I can do right to make sure my neighbor feels loved, welcome and free!
Oh, Violet you beautiful soul! One Sunday a few months ago I walked into Hey Rooster, circling the store looking around and my heart and eyes continued to wander to the back of the store, where there sat a beautiful woman in a stance like she was waiting on me (I felt it). I paid for my products and continued to stare and finally, I put my stuff to the side and made my way to the back of the store. I sat in front of Violet and within 20-minutes, all of my feelings were placed in front of me in form of beautiful, mysterious cards. As she made her way through each card reading, I lost my breath more and more. The key to healing was right there in front of me and releasing me, speaking to me through tarot. I walked to that card table tired, mentally, and spiritually drained, physically over fighting my feelings about church, spirituality, depression, and anxiety. She helped me unlock those things I’ve been feeling shamelessly, she gave me the clarity to take charge. I will never forget my first reading!
Meditation + Therapy
Tarot released my soul, Unitarian Universalism opened my soul up, meditation allowed my soul to feel free and therapy is mending and renewing my spirit. After my tarot reading, I knew it was time for me to re-enter therapy. My therapist has been the greatest part of my 2018 journey of healing. The deep work that’s been done is remarkable. Learning so much about myself and my feelings but most importantly healing, healing from things that have been blocked for some long is feeling great. Meditation was an easy transition, the amazing meditation (Soulful Sunday’s) have taught me how to completely check in with myself.
I didn’t know how powerful energy is, how much energy we take in and let out. From the amazing healing touch to Reiki, learning how to balance my chakras and heal myself has taught me two important things, how to check in with myself and allow myself to heal.